Author: ewackett

 

Here is another list of techniques…the same as your green bookmark. Click here to learn about Persuasive Language Techniques

Here is a sample “complete” response to the article…

 

In her article “Are we about to ban childhood altogether?” author Maggie Dent strives to convince parents and school teachers alike of the importance of childhood free play. Posted of the website ‘essentialkids.com.au’ it is evident that her target audience is those most concerned with the wellbeing and development of our children-predominantly parents and teachers. Dent employs a overall straightforward and authoritative tone, and by introducing herself as a ‘passionate advocate’ for childhood freeplay, it is clear to her audience that she possesses some vested interest in the issue presented, as well as a certain level of expertise highlighted by her various books and credentials at the articles conclusion. In response to the controversial banning of cartwheels at a Queensland state school and our modern attitude towards childhood risk-taking behaviour, Dent warns that ‘we may see fear-based thinking steal childhood altogether.’

 

The opening argument presented by Dent is that there are many benefits of having risk in our children’s lives, supporting her overall contention that childhood free play is essential to development. She introduces modern society’s cautious attitude towards risk taking by claiming that our ‘nanny state thinking’ may soon see our children discouraged ‘when walking or maybe even breathing.’ Here, she uses exaggeration to highlight the absurdity of banning activities that are completely normal and natural, and essential to life She presents a ‘slippery slope’ argument, attempting to challenge readers to see where their current restrictive thinking may lead to next. By describing our society as a ‘nanny state’, she evokes in readers the conservative thinking of the older generation, who often condemn the behaviours of the youth, an suggests that perhaps we have forgotten what it is to be young and free and have turned into grandmothers  here to cuddle children like babies. Once establishing the ridiculous suggestions of banning activities with an element of risk, she adds the benefits that these ‘minor adversities’ bring, such as ‘emotional buoyancy’ and ‘resilience’, two concepts valued by parents and teachers alike. Many programs in primary schools currently work to develop resilience, such as ‘ Bounce Back’ and Dent here draws on this prior value to highlight what abandoning childhood risk is compromising. She points out that children learn by ‘embracing’ this risk taking element under adult supervision. She places “trained PE teachers” in quotation marks bringing to light how unnecessary it seems to have such strict control over children’s ‘lunch-time moves’ and to provide an element of sarcasm on the conservative nature of schools today. By doing this, Dent argues that all parents and teachers are fit to help our children develop.

 

After opening with this mildly condemning and disappointed tone, Dent moves on to argue the benefits of childhood movement in general by first quoting a ‘department response’ claiming they wish to prevent ‘playground injuries’, Dent questions the legitimacy of banning movement considered ‘beneficial and normal’ and states that to concede is ‘mystifying and ridiculous’. Here, she aims to alienate dissenters by pointing out that her point of view is ‘back by truckloads of research’ and ‘health professionals’, establishing her side as the one with expert support. She then lists firstly the benefits of ‘normal childhood movement’ and secondly the familiar activities that constitute this to make a link in the reader’s mind between the areas of childhood development they know to be positive and the familiar playground activities some seek to ban, and convince them to side with her that this notion is absurd. Inclusive language is consistently used by Dent, as she goes on to point out that ‘free play’ is what helps ‘our children’ gain skills for life, here appealing to parents and passionate educators- her target audience. To sum up this argument, Dent notes that these benefits can not be gained ‘solely through being passive’, appealing to her audience’s desire to be dynamic and engaged parents rather that passive ones. Finally, she throws in that these benefits do not come from interacting with ‘technology’, here capitalising on parents’ fears that their children will become addicted to technology and pointing out that perhaps this is the path we choose to go down once we abandon free play.

 

Following on from this, Dent reminds her audience that free play is already being compromised in our society today, and the consequences of this. She uses anecdotal evidence by stating ‘so many busy parents tell me’ of the time difficulties associated with outside play, to appeal to a familiar parental dilemma and to foreshadow her oncoming expert opinion by first establishing that childhood play has indeed been ‘declining’. She quotes ‘one of the world’s leading experts on play’, Dr Peter Curay, who links declining childhood play to rising childhood mental disorders. By providing this expert opinion, Dent uses the words of a person with superior knowledge on the subject matter than her audience to urge them to consider the dangers of banning childhood play by associating it with mental disorders, which are stigmatised and unwanted. She points out that ‘schools can support the need for physical play’, so as to provide a solution for this apparently impending problem of lack of play, and to convince her audience to have something to rally behind.

 

Lastly, Dent argues that we must abandon the growing mentality of having someone to ‘blame’ and let children play as they will. She begins by stressing that this mindset has been brought about by an overly cautious minority. She bolds the word ‘may’ to reinforce to schools that the risk of being held accountable is minimal. She then introduces this growing concept of a blaming attitude in regards to accidents by using another example of anecdotal evidence involving a child and a hose. Here Dent is able to make readers understand how ridiculous it is to ‘blame’ and consequently ‘ban hoses’ for these minor accidents, and compare it to banning cartwheels and even free play at school. She suggests we must instead ‘teach our children to watch where they put their feet’, using again inclusive language and simple symbolism to make herself appear practical and correct. She points out that accidents happen, and backs this up with her expert opinion of Tim Gill once more to argue that these activities are really nothing to be alarmed about and it is our stigmatisation and unnecessary fears that is causing more accidents. She shifts the blame away from the principal of the Sunshine Coast State School and suggests a hands-on, conversational approach with her target audience to combat these problems and encourage ‘adventuresome play with an element of risk’.

 

The visual material provided depicts a young boy happily engaged in a handstand. He has clearly chosen to play outside on the grass where he can be comfortable and free, and not boxed in by the implied institutions that restrict him, represented by a tall fence and boring buildings on either side of him. This further supports Dent’s contention that free play is essential to children’s development and freedom.

 

In the article ‘Are we about to ban childhood altogether?’ Maggie Dent uses a practical and authoritative tone to convince readers of the importance of childhood play and the risks we face by banning it in schools. By presenting a number of arguments and persuasive techniques it appears that Dent could have been quite successful in persuading her target audience of parents and teachers to ‘celebrate the odd bumps and bruises’ or risk stealing childhood altogether.

 

 

Today you received a lot of additional material about AAE including essay questions and some sample high scoring student responses. Please make sure you take the time to read these…they should give you a lot to think about.

Also, a GREAT homework activity when you feel like a break from writing paragraphs and essays is to spend 5 minutes planning essays.

Look at the prompt and…

1. Work out what it is really asking you

2. Write a contention for the essay

3. What 3-4 ideas would you base your paragraphs on (& what evidence/examples would you use)

 

If you would like some great sentence ‘templates’ for the essay…CLICK HERE FOR SOME SENTENCE STARTERS

 

Test how well you know the AAE quotes

 

Homework tonight: Complete your film chapter questions ready to present to tomorrow’s class.

Overhead the gulls are flying inland, slowly but steadily, as if somehow they are very sure of everything p96 The Return.

 

The gulls are sure of themselves, returning to their home confidently as they know where they belong. Compare this to how Angus feels sitting silently on the train returning to Montreal to a place he does not feel any connection to.

 

You cannot kill a seagull, they say, the government protects them because they are scavengers and keep the harbors clean. P124 The Lost Salt Gift of Blood.

 

MacLeod uses the gulls as a metaphor for the people of Cape Breton who also spend their lives giving back to the land; be it underground, in the fields or on the sea. There is a connection between the gulls and the people; they both protect and enrich this landscape.

 

They are carrying something that looks like a crippled gull… Perhaps they will make it well. P141 The Lost Salt Gift of Blood.

 

The father realises the richness of this culture, and not only the connectedness these people have to the place but also to the other inhabitants. The authentic loving relationships such as the relationship John has with his grandparents is perhaps replicated in the way that the people look after their nature. 

 

**********

 

MacLeod layers descriptions of the landscape with human meaning, using metaphor and personification to give human qualities to the elements – the rocks “loom yearningly”, squalls become “marauders”. This has the effect of making the landscape itself seem a character in the story.

**********

 

References to other places – Europe, Dublin – are included to evoke a sense of characters’ origins, ancestors and, perhaps a longing for escape.

**********

 

More symbolism to consider:

• Windows
• Stones
• Roads
• Clothing/shoes – restrictive
• Hands

 

click here for help for writing a yr 11 text response

 

Click here to open Life of Pi – better story powerpoint

 

Island SAC Topics – Thursday 9 March KWC 8:25 (60 minutes – no notes, dictionary allowed). 

Three of the following topics will be on next Thursday’s SAC…you are strongly advised to prepare four of these topics:

 

1. How do MacLeod’s stories reveal the beauty and heartache of existence?

 

2. ‘The landscape of Cape Breton exerts a powerful influence on the characters of Island.’ Discuss.

 

3. ‘The stories in Island show that once you have left you cannot go home.’ Do you agree?

 

4. MacLeod asserts that life is complicated, and that even history is a matter of perception. Do you agree?

 

5. Tension between the traditional culture of the past and life in the present runs like a repeated refrain through all the stories in ‘Island¹. Discuss.

 

6. “…We just can’t live in a clan system anymore. We have to see beyond ourselves and our own families.” In ‘Island’, family is the most dominating force over the lives of the characters. Discuss.

Clan – A close-knit group of interrelated families, community, relative

Family ties- links/bonds

Dominate – influence, control, defined

Life- existence, being

 

It is true that family ties do dominate the lives of the characters in these stories?

 

BP1- Yes- family influences tradition (following legacy and forefathers), sense of heritage, generational expectation (clan dynamic) Tradition can define and mould who people, forms identity.

Positive binding force of family

 

BP2- How relationships (parents and children, husband and wife, siblings, grandparents and grandchildren) in the isolated community influence people’s decisions.

Negative binding force of family?

 

BP3- However, another scope being the relationship the characters have with the land. So beautiful and addictive but yet at the same time can take life.

Those that refuse to be dominated by the chains of tradition, they feel they are not shaped by dedication to generational change – James, Angus- slight guilt that comes with those ideals.

John so young, yet wants to not escape but come back to Nova Scotia.

 

Tradition/heritage (clan) shapes identity/life

Their lives are permeated with elements of ancestral heritage and the richness of the their Gaelic history.

Clan- Gaelic history; ancestral links, over 300 years; language; song; music; verses; chewing tobacco; drinking rum/sugar; superstitions; oral storytelling; connection to the land; Tradition- come with past generations/ ancestral dreams; storytellers. They are practising the rituals daily. Following in their traditions gives many characters a strong sense of identity and a connection to this landscape. (John- TLSGOB- when he lives in Toronto and doesn’t fit in ‘When I was in Toronto no-one was ever up before seven. It was wonderful sad. There were gulls there though flying over Toronto Harbour. We went to see them on two Sundays.) Linking past/present

 (The Tuning of Perfection; Lost Salt Gift of Blood; The Closing Down of Summer)

(vocational-fishing).

 

While Family ties sometimes bind; in some of stories relationships more often than not divide. (good and bad) (Relationships shape the characters in positive and negative ways)

 

If not so, why not?

In some

The Return – wife dominates Angus

Miners- (clan) community over family destructive over other parts of their lives. Looking at the Zulus they don’t realise they have the same sense of community (hanging out on the beach naked)

 

Obligation/roles- following

Generational expectation (miner, farmer, fisherman)

Breaking free from family and clan expectation can create a source of guilt for the choices made (Angus ‘The Return’; narrator ‘The Boat’; James ‘The Vastness of the Dark’).

 

Relationships: father/son/children; mother/son; multigenerational – ‘The Return’

 

 In ‘The Boat’ the father encourages his children to explore the world beyond Cape Breton through literature and that allows his children to escape the burden of family obligations and thus allowing to live a more individual life. Does this mean it is a richer life as it is overshadowed by sense of guilt for the narrator.

 

 

As a result of the domination and permeation of family over the individual, there are those who are damaged and wish to break free from familial ties. (In order to escape the domination of the relationships characters are forced to escape the land, thus the land itself is also a force that overshadows characters’ lives.

 

 

Topic sentences

 

• Some characters in Island manage to show rebellion and attempt to break free of the family and traditional domination in their lives.

 

• Whilst some characters are chained to the traditions of clan and family ties, others attempt to break free of these binds.

 

• Within all of the stories there is an enforced sense of family often employed through the use of tradition and clan. (structure, narrative, themes, characters)

 

• A sense of an underlying draw to family ties and clan can be observed in the lives of the characters.

 

• Although it is a strong theme, MacLeod doesn’t always show this to be the case…

 

• Within isolated communities, traditional values and clan can control a family, Alastair MacLeod explores how this affects the lives of his characters.

 

• Feelings of allegiance to family are an undeniable source of guilt and responsibility for MacLeod’s protagonists.

 

• Whilst some characters in the collection are content to live dull and repetitive lives arising from ties to family and clan, others dare to abandon this in search of success or happiness.

 

• MacLeod’s stories portray characters trapped in a cycle of family tradition.

 

• The effects of family ties and tradition can be catastrophic for some characters.

 

• MacLeod exploits the way that characters are dictated to and manipulated through imposing family traditions.

 

• Whilst some characters demonstrate a strong sense of loyalty to their family, MacLeod emphasises how others are able to break free.

 

 

 

 

More topic sentences for other essays…

 

• MacLeod portrays the characters in his stories to be connected to the Cape Breton landscape through their livelihoods of fishing and mining, and bound together through shared experiences of the physical and emotional sacrifices that are necessary in their way of life.
• Island reveals the drive to follow Cape Breton’s culture form the characters in the story through personal experiences and views towards mining and fishing.
• MacLeod explores how personal sacrifice can lead to an unfulfilled life. Despair can eat away at your soul.
• Alistair MacLeod explores how the ancestral constraints of roles limit the men who are confronted with either remaining brave by spending a life doing what they really do not want or selfishly following forever their own “dreams and inclinations”.
• MacLeod explores how connections formed within the isolated community run deep due to an unbreakable bond forged from their “fragile interdependence”.
• MacLeod utilizes the connection between the thoughts of the characters and the landscape in order to express more complex ideas on the emotional bond that the characters share with the land.
• Macleod demonstrates that some characters try to move on in search for something other than the place of origin yet the connection of their culture runs too deep.
• Rejecting the notions of their homeland, MacLeod displays how ones environment can shape identities juxtaposed to the norms of their upbringing.
• In ‘Island’, Alistair Macleod expresses the loss of not only physical connections through death as a consequence of mining, but also the loss of emotional connection to loved ones who choose to move beyond their places of origin.
• MacLeod’s Stories explore how regret can shape the way in which characters view those around them.
• Alistair MacLeod uses the environment to portray the emotions of his characters and significant events throughout his stories.
• MacLeod illustrates how the Gaelic culture and tradition that encapsulates Cape Breton can help characters gain a sense of purpose.
• MacLeod depicts loss throughout the short stories of the collection through both the physical and emotional disconnection between the characters
• The Narrators sense of personal isolation stems from their inability to communicate and share the ineffable nature of their “private experience” and thus their incapacity to build connections with other people.
• The working men in MacLeod’s “Island” are forced to lead live that are dictated by their own surrounds
• In the intimately collective ‘The Closing Down of Summer’, the breakdown of communication is expressed also through the natural imagery of Macleod’s writing.

Sample student introductions

 

#1

…add another 1-2 sentences to this introduction

 

#2

…add another 1-2 sentences to the end of this introduction

 

 

#3

 

Alistair MacLeod’s collection of short stories, ‘Island’, centres around people who live off the land in Nova Scotia, Canada and explores the significance of the landscape and its influence over its inhabitants. Macleod suggests that the land almost stifles its residents and forms them into a mould that they are then unable to escape from.   The inhabitants are both trapped in the area and determined to stay.   MacLeod demonstrates how characters who are “of the sea” cherish the land and all it gives them while those who are not, are constantly torn between leaving and staying.

 

 

Some sample student paragraphs with tips for improvement

 

#1

 

…tighten the first part of this paragraph

…add some more linking words

…add 1-2 linking sentences at the end

 

#2

…add 1-2 linking sentences at the end

 

#3

 

Macleod uses symbolism and colour imagery to reflect the character’s personalities and hardships in the land in order to illustrate how powerful landscape is in shaping one’s identity.   This is especially prominent in the recurring symbol of the miners’ and fisherman’s hands, which Macleod often describes as “missing fingers”, “mangled” and “powerful”. The symbolism of the hands is intended to illustrate how the physical appearance of the men has been molded by the exhausting and dangerous work they are forced to undertake within the harsh environment they inhabit.   They live always with the presence and possibility of ‘death and loss’ and their livelihood is dependent on either the weather and the sea or upon their willingness to go underground.   Like their hands, their ruthless and rugged personalities have also been shaped as a result of having to carve out an existence in very harsh surroundings.   The recurring theme of the hands also connect the inhabitants of the land to each other and suggests that there is a certain mold that each is forced into by the very fact of their having been born in that place (explain).   There is the sense that they are in some way all the same. Macleod also uses colour imagery in his description of the environment as a mechanism to communicate to the reader this sense of sameness and uniformity.   His repeated use of the colour grey to paint a picture of the life and work of the inhabitants in juxtaposition with the bright colours used to describe the landscape (quotes?).  This suggests that in some way the colour and light is slowly drained from the inhabitants into the beautiful land they live in.   MacLeod uses this combination of literary devices to demonstrate the impression that the land leaves upon both characters’ personalities and appearances.

 

#4

 

Macleod emphasises how even once a character has physically removed themselves from the land, the imprint it leaves still haunts them in a way that is impossible to escape from. This idea is enforced from the very first line of ‘The Boat’ when the protagonist confesses that “there are times even now, when I wake up at four o’clock in the morning with the terrible fear that I have overslept”.  This portrays how even years after leaving Nova Scotia, the character’s body clock is still influenced by his past life.   The blind horses in ‘The Vastness of the Dark’ take this idea a step further, symbolizing how a life in the mines renders the miners incapable of even visualizing an alternative way of living.  Their very sight is narrowed and dimmed by their environment.    An attempt to escape the environment even for a brief summer reveals the impossibility of establishing a different life; the scars they all “bear” from their lives on the land “fail to respond to the healing power of the sun’s heat”.   This illustrates the abiding hold that the land has over its inhabitants.

 

…add 1-2 linking sentences at the end

 

#5

 

MacLeod demonstrates a genuine respect and admiration for the beauty of the land and the strength and determination of its inhabitants.   Through his tales, he paints a picture of the land as the safe haven for the sea folk and the source of income for the miners.   He demonstrates how the inhabitants like the mother from ‘The Boat’ feel deeply connected to their land as ‘home’.    Through ‘The Return’ he takes us on the journey of Alex from a newcomer with no knowledge of the land to one who views the land as “very beautiful”.  MacLeod uses Gaelic as a metaphor for the way in which the culture and heritage of the people exist almost within the land and “bubble[s] up” seeping into younger generations without their conscious knowledge.  This idea is expressed in ‘The Closing Down of Summer’ when the protagonist speaks of his past “disdain” for Gaelic and those who spoke it but as an older man he finds a love for the Gaelic songs because “they are so constant and unchanging”.   This journey from disdain to love reflects the way in which many of MacLeod’s characters come to love the similarly constant and unchanging land.

In this way MacLeod expresses the positive influence the land has over the characters.

 

…add 1-2 linking sentences at the end

 

 

Sample conclusion

 

 

Alistair MacLeod has imbued his characters with characteristics from his beloved Cape Breton. For these ‘Island’ characters there is no avoiding the power and pull of the landscape. It exerts great influence over all aspects of their lives; how they derive their meagre livelihoods, how they connect with their family and how they behave. Even those who believe they need to escape its boundaries find themselves inextricably connected to the place. They are physically and emotionally “worn and polished…buffed and burnished” by the hauntingly beautiful landscape they inhabit.

Continue planning your essay response to the question: How does Pi survive his experiences?

Here’s our initial brainstorming from Friday:

You worked out your assertions (topic sentences) over the weekend for homework, so the next step is to work out what evidence will you use to back up your claims? Select your quotes (minimum 5 quotes per para).

Now, sort your ideas into a logical order? What will be your first, second…body paragraph.

Great…now you are ready to write your first draft.

Homework tonight: finish intro and two body paragraphs.