“Showing” Writing

 

There is an old mantra amongst writers that has endured through the ages: “show, don’t just tell, your audience what is happening in your story”. The best writing doesn’t just tell its readers what is happening, as if they are reading about it in a textbook or newspaper.  It will show them what is happening and allow the reader to experience it for themselves. Once you make this jump – from telling to showing – your writing can really take off!

Telling writing is very direct, unambiguous and, ultimately, boring:

Josephine looked at the chicken in the kitchen and thought about how hungry she was.

There is still a place to ‘tell’ the reader information: it is very good for moving a narrative along quickly, either in terms of time or location. It is also what most people use when they begin writing, as it is also the easiest form of writing. However, if telling is overused, or is used inappropriately, it will lead to very simplistic and uninteresting writing.

In contrast, showing writing is all about making the reader see, feel or experience what you are describing. Showing writing is all about descriptions, emotions and sensations, which in turn makes the reader feel what the character is experiencing. Here is a basic rewriting of the above example that uses ‘showing’ writing:

The yawning cavern inside Josephine’s belly rumbled impatiently as her eyes were drawn to the crispy golden-brown chicken that lay steaming on the kitchen bench.

The next time you’re reading a novel, pay close attention to when the author is ‘showing’ you what is happening (those slower, more detailed descriptions that keep us in the moment with the characters) and when they are merely ‘telling’ you what is going on in a very direct and brief manner.

Why should you be interested in ‘showing’ writing? In short, it is because this is what all good novel, and in particular all published novels, spend most of their time doing. Have a look at this brief video by author Harry Bingham for an illustration of the difference that good ‘showing’ writing can have:

 

There is no one way to write ‘showing’ writing. However, below you will find some techniques that you can use help develop your descriptive writing and show the reader what is happening. You should also look at the ‘Sensory Writing‘, ‘Figurative Language‘ and ‘Dialogue‘ pages for more ideas on how you can further develop your descriptions.

 

 

Technique 1: Let the readers see it themselves…

Simply ‘telling’ an audience that a character has an emotion can be quite dull. A sentence such as “Angela felt scared” will hardly leave the audience quaking in their shoes. So how can we make such a description more engaging and interesting? Well, how do we know that Angela is scared? Let’s try describing her reactions: “Angela’s face went ashen. Her breathing came in ragged gasps.”  Rather than just being told that “Joe was happy”, let us see his lips break into a smile, or his eyes crease because he is laughing so hard.

Let’s take a description of something mundane: a tree. We could say “the tree was tall”, but how can we make it more engaging for the audience. What do we want them to be seeing? Perhaps we can use a metaphor or simile to make it more interesting: “the trees reached upwards, their branches interlacing like (to form) the roof of a cathedral” or “the trees were silent sentinels”. Try to show exactly what it looks like, and highlight the aspects that you want to emphasise.

Activity: Look carefully at the image below. What is in this picture? Is it just a road with cliffs? Describe the image so the reader can see what is there.

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Technique 2: Let the readers feel for themselves…

Sometimes people get so caught up in telling us everything that they don’t let the audience make any decisions for themselves. This is a shame, because the best part about reading a book is not being told what we should feel, but to be put in a position where we are actually made to feel those emotions ourselves.

Let’s look at this example. You could simply write “she was shocked when the lights were suddenly turned off”. Or you could focus on a detail, and actually convey the situation that is intended to make us feel shocked: “The tiny insect-crawl of the second hand was the last thing she saw before the lights went out.”

Put the reader in the position of your character. Make the reader experience it for themselves, to live through the same events and experience the build-up of tension, or hear the jokes that make us feel like we’re at a gathering that is comfortable, laid-back and amongst friends.

 

Activity: Look carefully at the image below. What is in this picture? What emotions are being conveyed? Explain to the reader what these people are feeling without just saying they are happy, joyful or laughing. Instead consider: what does it feel like to be happy, joyful or laughing?

Extension: Read over your above description and craft a narrative that could lead to this reaction.

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Technique 3: Give us the details…

You have to be selective when writing a story, but that doesn’t mean you don’t give any details. When you are describing a character or place, you can reveal a lot of information through your descriptions. For example, you could simply write “the man was well dressed”. It’s simple, concise, but leaves a lot unknown: what exactly does ‘well dressed’ mean, and how exactly does this person look? If it’s a main character, this could be a valuable opportunity to provide some details.

Let’s have another go at that description: “The man wore an ash-grey Armani coat over a crisp linen shirt, with a red silk cravat Windsor-knotted at his throat.” Now that’s a fancy outfit! We know the person is well-dressed, rich, and that he is flashy and probably outgoing.

You can do a similar thing with describing a place. You could, for example, just write “the house was old”. Or you could focus on the details that make this house unique: “The house slouched in a yard choked with weeds, its paint faded and flaking, the lace curtains in its windows yellowed with age.” Now we have a much better idea of where the story is set, and are beginning to get the story of the house itself.

Activity: Look carefully a the image below. What is in this picture? Provide a detailed description of this man’s appearance. Without saying anything directly, see if you can use this description to provide details about his past or his personality.

Useful Documents

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External Resources